This year has really flown by and we’re just a couple of days away from embarking on a brand new 365 days! As always, everyone is writing down goals, planning out vision boards, and making resolutions for what they want to accomplish in the coming 12 months. I’m doing the same, but even more, there are several things I’m going to focus on NOT doing to make this a year that is fruitful, drama free, and spiritually, emotionally, and mentally healthy. I want to share with you the nine things we all need to completely stop doing NOW to live our best lives! 💁🏽‍♀️

1. Making Excuses

   There are probably a lot of goals you have set for the year, and for many of you, just like me, setting a fitness goal is probably on your list. Usually, I fall off the wagon by the end of January. But not this time! No matter what your goal is, make a plan, stick to it, and stay committed. I don’t care if you have 3 children, a husband, a side business, and a full time job. No matter if you have to wake up earlier, stay up later, or both, just stay committed! Focus and do the work!

   
   
   

2. Being Afraid and Closed Minded

   I have struggled in the past with doubting myself and not wanting to take the leap to do things that I really want to do just because I was afraid. I was scared the worst would happen and I would fail. Even starting a blog was something I postponed longer than I should have because I was afraid of how well it would be received. I stifled myself! I’ve done more in a few months than I could have ever imagined, and if I had never started I wouldn’t be where I am now. Whatever it is you want to do, open your mind, stop being afraid, and do it!

   
   
   

3. Wasting Time on People or Things That Add No Value to Your Life

   We’re all here in this life of the living for a time period that we don’t know. That being said, you don’t have time to waste on people or things that aren’t enhancing your life! Whether it’s a bad habit you need to break, or a negative friend you need to cut off, just do it. Life is too short. You don’t have time to waste on basic things or nonsensical folks!

   
   
   

4. Going Out of Your Way to Be Nice

   I’d say that generally, I’m a pretty giving person. You show me loyalty, and I show you loyalty back. However, I think it serves you to stop trying to be nice to disingenuous folks, or people who only show up when they want something. It’s draining! And don’t get me wrong, if you go low, I’m still going high like my FLOTUS….but you’re gonna get from me exactly what you give! I have a husband and small child that need my energy. I don’t have time to give my energy to insecure, adult people who just haven’t found their way in life.

   
   
   

5. Short Changing Yourself

   This one is simple. Know your worth and add tax! I’ve realized that when you want something you need to raise your hand, open your mouth, and simply ask WITH CONFIDENCE! That promotion you want, go for it! That raise you need, ask for it! The worst response you can get is “No.”. Even if you get a “no” it’s not the end of the world, but you’ve got to take the first step and ask! If you’re not sure you’re worth it then no one else will be sure. You have not because you ask not and you want not!

   
   
   

6. Being Everything To Everyone

   I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I’m a wife and a mother. Outside of that I’m a blogger, a small business owner, and I have a full time corporate career where I manage a team of people. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ANYONE’S DRAMA. I can’t be your mom, I can’t be your counselor, and if you’re too much I probably can’t even be your friend! I need to protect my energy so I stay in a spiritually, emotionally, and mentally healthy space. Know that you can’t be everything to everyone! If you try, you don’t leave any room for being who you need to be for yourself!

   
   
   

7. Comparing Yourself to Others

   Just do you. Stop looking up, down, left, right, and around. Focus on yourself. Have you ever watched a horse race? If you have, you’ve seen those blinders that each horse is wearing, and they’re there for a reason - to help the horse stay in it’s lane and run it’s own race! Just because someone has something that you’d like to have doesn’t mean they haven’t been through hell and back to get it. Just because someone’s marriage on social media looks like a fairy tale doesn’t mean they aren’t going through it, or haven’t gone through something. Focus on YOU!

   
   
   

8. Hating on Your Sisters

   Regardless of whether or not we agree, women are all in the same boat. 🤷🏽‍♀️ We’re paid less and are often seen as less efficient, or not qualified enough to get the job done. These gaps further widen when we start talking about black and brown women. Let’s take the time to celebrate each other’s accomplishments and lift each other up. On the same wavelength, let’s stop the crabs in a barrel mentality and help each other out. Each one teach one! I’m not suggesting you spill your entire business plan to every lady on the planet or work for free, but if and when you’re supported, give support back!

   
   
   

9. Neglecting Yourself

   As wives and mothers we see our main responsibilities as taking care of the day to day at home, supporting our partners, and caring for our children. We need to shift this mentality to also include taking care of ourselves. After all, you ain’t got nothing to pour if you have an empty wine glass! Replenish yourself! 💃

What are some things you’re planning to stop doing to live your best life? Let me know below.

xoxo,

Onteria

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